Sole writer

This blog had two readers. One of them is gone.

Both of them were loyal readers. One though commented on my posts, disagreed, laughed, every single time I thought I had something to say, useful or not.

I feel like a sole writer. An unheard voice, a lonely heart, alone in the darkness of sometimes nonsense thoughts. Writing is like ping-pong: you can never play by yourself. You can play against the wall, but there's no emotion at all.

The only purpose of writing is having a reader to address. A writer imagines an audience, previews reactions, comments, emotions. The writer is a god - his pieces of writing are creatures that no longer belong to him. They are alive, they flow in minds, they are modified, they grow up, progress.

I'm thinking of closing this "book", or whatever you call it, putting a full stop. Or I could identify myself and become public - I don't really want that.

I miss my loyal reader, my friend. A friend that passed away leaving a big hole in my heart, a hole that will probably never be filled again. I miss his laugh, his sense of humor, his ability to relate everything to a song, his honesty.

I feel like a lonely writer.

I wish...

I wish I could write poetry,

Bring words into life and wear them with my feelings.

I wish I could sing,

Puzzle up the chords and make them dance in everyones ears.

I wish I had supernatural powers,

To come and go, whenever, wherever; in space and in time.

I wish I didn't have a gypsy spirit,

And could safely rest in the comfort of home.

I wish I couldn't feel,

Control every single ting of scary threatening fondness.

I wish I had less courage,

Be afraid of going further, of tasting new flavors, of meeting new people, of living different experiences.

I wish I have more courage,

To face my own concerns... to keep being myself ... and to stop wishing so much.