Dear "god"

Dear Mr. Possibly Existing "God",

Here I come again to explain myself, so that you don't play another not funny joke to punish me somehow (and people insist you do those things cause you "love" me!). You like funny jokes, don't you? Yeah, I've noticed. But you're so quick that you scare me! :/

Well, please hold on for some minutes. I already asked you to send me back as a snake in the next life, so try to be nicer to me. If you wanna do something bad, send me to be a snake in Brazil and that will be fair.

It's not that I don't like human beings. I try to understand what you were thinking about when you made some of us more intelligent and less lazy than others, but you're so complex! What were you occupied with that took your attention, huh? Eve????

How can I love someone that cleans the washroom with my face towel as I love myself? Ok... you'd look at me sideways and ask: "What did I teach you about forgiveness?"...

C'mon Dad! Why didn't you make us with a bit more patience? You challenged us and you lost, Sir. I'm sorry. Be humble at least today... how can I love people that say I've always been selfish, anti-ethical, insensitive and bureaucratic??

Dad, don't look me sideways! Aren't you the infinitely merciful? Huh? I know what your sentence is: "Do what I say, but not what I do"... isn't it???

Smart Dad... :/