Complexity

I've already called many people "complicated".

No, I'm not complicated. Am I? I'm complex, as we all are. I have stories, as we all have. I have fears, as we all have.

Maybe I've confused myself with who I've been so far and who I (don't) want to become. Someone, somewhere, some time sang: "There's more loneliness at the airport than in a cheap motel room". Couldn't be more true. What's my setting?

I've lived intensely in all "departments" of my life: family, friends, relationships, university. I'm getting confused in trying to find a balance. It's not "emotional disorder", or any sort of "problem" that could be called "problem".

Changing is not easy and understanding this "not-easiness" is dysrhythmic. I feel uneasy with the "not-easiness" of understanding myself, my wishes.

Some might run away from me. It obviously hurts, but I'll never judge.
Others will simply (wisely) be silent and wait.

I'm not afraid of living, I'm just trying to be cautious.
I'm not analyzing everything. I'm just trying to figure out.
I'm not in need of a doctor. I'm just trying... to be better.